Where the Family Goes, the Country Follows – The American Spectator

On Aug 28, 2023

One of the more alarming aspects of modern American life reveals itself in the collapse of family structure. This blight on our nation is not limited to one generation, although it has become exacerbated throughout the years. Whether it be a lack of fathers, divorce, abortion, or even an unwillingness to marry, there are many factors contributing to the overwhelming loss of the nuclear family in Western society. The destructiveness of this fact may not appear obvious to the naked eye. Government attempts to stem the floodwaters of depression and angst flowing from the broken dam of the family with papyrus monetary programs. Moral decay, social instability, and even heightened political animosity are in large part attributable to the collapse of the family. (READ MORE: The Heritage Foundation vs. the GOP Establishment)

However convinced I may be of this fact, it is clearly not obvious enough to many in mine and previous generations that neglect the historical family. For this purpose, I will examine the younger generations as Gen-Z is now entering the decade where, normally, many would be getting married.

Millennials Are Going To Be Millennials

As mentioned, Gen Z has yet to fully enter the age of marriage, at least according to reliable data. However, the generation before them, Millennials, will serve as the perfect baseline to begin this discourse.

According to Pew Research Center, around 30 percent of Millennials (ages 23-38) are married with a child, and 13 percent are married with no child. Additionally, 45 percent do not live with a family of their own. Pew Research also took data from when the Boomer generation would have been in the same age group. They found that around 69 percent of the boomer generation lived with a family of their own. Likewise, around 46 percent of Boomers were married with a spouse and twelve percent were married with no child.

However, men exchanging marriage for casual hookups and pornography is devastating to women and men.

In merely two generations, the marriage rate among 23-38 year-olds fell from 58 percent to 43 percent. This is to not even examine the Silent Generation which had a marriage rate of 82 percent at the same age range.

For the sake of not harping on Millennials, Baby Boomers demonstrated an equally alarming and rapid deterioration of the familial structure. Divorce rates for those 50 or older (roughly the Baby Boomer generation) have jumped from 5 out of 1,000 to 10 out of 1,000 from 1990 to 2019.

Finally, the average age of those who are getting married has drastically increased over time. In 1950, the average age for marriage for men was around 23, and for women, 21. In 2022, that median has shifted to 30 years old for men and 28 years old for women.

The Necessity of Marriage

Marriage is arguably the bedrock of civil society. It is the first step in creating a large family unit that produces children and stabilizes a man and woman in a committed relationship. In a religious sense, it binds two people together in a vow before God. One of the greatest lies of modern society is that marriage is merely between two people who love each other. Marriage involves multiple institutions that work together to support, uphold, and protect that invaluable union. Namely, the local community, church (God), the two people involved, and when children are produced each and every one of those children. In other words, marriage, ideally, teaches something important for every human being to learn: selflessness.

However, marriage among Americans is not viewed in this light. It is viewed from a subjective emotional connection to another human being. The “love is love” slogan is certainly worn out because its assertion is that human connection is an internal attraction that can be summarized in “love.” There is a reason why the Bible defines love as a collection of virtues, rather than a subjective experience. It is the embodiment of patience, kindness, humility, selflessness, forgiveness, hope, and perseverance. In other words, love is duty-driven, not emotionally driven.

Marriage creates a safe foundation for men and women. This is an aspect of marriage often overlooked because it creates uncomfortable conversations between the sexes. However, marriage protects women from predatory men who seek to exploit them for sex. This would certainly be considered taboo to say among my peers who believe that a woman’s true liberty is found not in her character but in her body count. However, men exchanging marriage for casual hookups and pornography is devastating to women and men.

Consequences

Women’s rates of reported happiness have been decreasing since the 1970s, stupefying materialistic progressives who believe happiness is in a paycheck. In the 1970s, women reported a higher satisfaction of life than men, but within twenty years women reported less happiness than men. While leftists speculate a number of ridiculous reasons for this, I wonder what massive cultural revolution transpired just years prior that upended thousands of years of sexual ethics. Could it be that the Sexual Revolution of the late 1960s and early 1970s, and the abject destruction of marriage impacted women’s happiness?

Men do not escape the horrific consequences of a destroyed family. Men have become more isolated as they exchange real, fruitful relationships with women for pornography and video games. Marriage provides men with responsibility and, to speak frankly, civilizes them. Men who are in marriages tend to make more money, have better health, and report greater happiness. The free, easy sex which men carnally seek does not fulfill them in a deeper way. In fact, the Sexual Revolution’s consequences have led to less and less sex for everyone.

Resolution

The return to proper marriage can only occur on a cultural and religious level. Our culture is more likely than any before to see gay “marriage,” having a baby out of wedlock, divorcing, and premarital sex as morally acceptable actions. This general decline of strong moral fiber naturally diminishes the importance of institutions that are antithetical to these beliefs. Part of marriage serves to keep sex and child-rearing within its confines to create stability. If an entire nation does not believe there is anything morally corrupt about those actions, why partake in the institution that restricts them?

In order to restore the importance of family, the younger generations must learn that self-sacrifice and duty are a part of life. Women need men. Men need women. When a woman gets married, her primary duties are to be a wife and mother. When a man gets married, his primary duties are to be a husband and father. Divorce should not be encouraged nor treated as something good. Divorce, when actually necessary, is still something tragic and devastating to a family. Infidelity, pornography, and hookup culture are all things that contribute to the collapse of marriage. Pornography should be banned by state governments, infidelity should be treated as the moral depravity that it is, and parents need to teach their children that partying or hooking up in college or high school is not a “phase,” but something that impacts you later in life.

If we wish to resolve any of our problems, whether it is political, spiritual, or cultural, we must rebuild the family. If the foundations of the wall are destroyed, what will stop the barbarians from storming Rome?

Brayden Dean is a rising senior at the University of Georgia. He studies international relations and political science with a minor in law, jurisprudence, and state. A member of The American Spectator’s intern class of 2023, Brayden enjoys sipping a hot cup of coffee while reading a book.

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